i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
