You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
