I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
