Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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