I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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