And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Life is so much better after having sex.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
