well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
