if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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