Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
