# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
