I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
My balls are so social today.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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