their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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