Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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