I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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