Got a toothbrush?
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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