Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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