Your tits are I can't wait for
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
You were trust falling into bushes
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
