Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Randomize
