Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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