that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
