Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Randomize
