remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Randomize
