That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
