I cannot find my penis.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
