I CAN MOONWALK!
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
