That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
