Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Another day, another engagement, another cat
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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