What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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