Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
