Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
