You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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