his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
