the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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