I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Randomize
