Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
