Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
