He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
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