I puked a lego.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
