omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
