She's JV to your varsity
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
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