We're facebook friends in real life
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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