When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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