If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Michael Bay diarrhea
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
