I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
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