Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
