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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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