I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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