Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
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