If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
