dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I need to stop coming to work sober
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I'm at about main and main street
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
