I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Randomize
