is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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