How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
