Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
God, I missed his penis.
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