your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
It's Friday. Sex?
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Randomize