I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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