It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I love you.
Bad choice
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