Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize