I just saw a hot homeless man
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
