Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
