saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
